• Deb Smith Life Coach

Is it OK to Rekindle an Old Flame?

How often have we wondered what ever happened to the kid who sat behind us throughout grammar school, to our first crush or the star athlete on the varsity team?

With the increasing use of social media reconnecting to old friends and old flames is more common than not. And with the metaphorical decrease in the size of our planet, chance meetings at your local coffee shop are on the rise as well.

So what happens when we strike up that initial conversation and possibly rekindle an old flame?

He may ask to see you.

Songs from long ago start playing in your head.

You melt remembering the wild crush you had on the class president so many years ago.

Little do you know the class president is now the class bank robber!

Very often we reconnect with old flames either through a chance meeting or a social media connection and believe we can pick up where we left off. Stop right there! Think about the ten, twenty or even thirty years that have passed.

Have you changed? Of course you have and so has your former love.

Do you have the same views you held back then? Did you even have a view back then? Probably not. Not only don't you look the same on the outside you aren't the same on the inside. Life changes us; our experiences shape us. Sometimes for the better and sometimes not.

Use common sense and caution when you make these connections.

Treat any get-together as if you were meeting with a stranger because in fact this person is a stranger to you. Two very important pieces of advice I can offer when meeting an old flame or even just an old friend are to:

  • Meet in a public place and make sure someone knows your plans – someone who will check on you if you don't respond to a text or call.

  • Don't invite them back to your home or give them too much personal information.

Would you invite the guy you just met on line at the auto parts store home? I hope not!

Would you tell a stranger where your kids attend school or when they meet for soccer practice? No, of course not!

Use the same caution in this instance. Take your time. Get to know them … again.

You will soon discover whether or not they have matured, grown and developed into the kind of person you want to get to know further. And if they haven't … hit delete, unfriend and block! Sometimes there are good reasons for leaving the past in the past and letting old flames burn out!



Click HERE for access to this powerful series on healing relationships.



Address: 100 W. 6th St, Ste 305, Media, PA 19063

Phone: 516-712-0159




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