When my grandmother was in the market for a husband, men called on women with an actual calling card. They met in the parlor and left their cards on a tray with her parents close by.
When my mother was in the market for a husband she and her friends scoped out the lunch room at the office. Once at the company picnic they knew how to bring attention to themselves with peach pies and those sexy Bermuda shorts!
My generation had more options – meeting at work, through friends, bars and clubs or on line at the grocery store.
Today online dating has a very different meaning bringing all the generations together with a similar dream – finding that perfect partner.
Whether never married, recently made single or newly divorced or widowed, finding new love can be a challenge. Online dating is a great option especially for people with hectic work schedules and/or few single friends; it's similar to a blind date yet it offers the opportunity to get to know the person a little before actually meeting. Often this process helps weed out unlikely partners prior to that uncomfortable moment when you decide to decline the second date.
The Importance or the Pre-Date Period...
I suggest using this pre-date period to engage in light yet meaningful conversation to get a better feel for the person and to ignite your intuition or gut feeling about the person. What I have found is that if a client seems to attract people with issues such as control, addiction, anger etc, it doesn't matter where they meet they will attract them from any venue. So if you have a tendency of attracting the same type of person and are looking for a change, change yourself first! If you don't this pattern will repeat itself in this venue as well.
My Top 3 Rules & Tips For Online Dating
So once you have done your own work, how do you enjoy the dating process without the risk of inviting Freddie Kruger into your life?
1) Keep Things Personal - Do not reveal any personal, traceable information on your profile.
If you are the principal of your local elementary school don't reveal that! Simply say you are in education.
If you have your own business you are more easily traced so be cautious. Make sure your business information does not lead to your home address nor the home addresses of any of your employees. Don't reveal the business but rather the nature of the business.
2) Get Your Date's Full Name and Meet in Public
Meet in a public place once you have at the very least gotten a full name and have told someone you trust of your plans. This will give you the security of knowing someone will be checking on you at the end of the date and looking for you if you don't respond.
3) Realize That Your Date is a STRANGER! You don't really know this person!
It may feel like you do because of the pre-date conversation and banter but you don't know them any more than you know the guy behind you on the check out line. So plan NOT to have sex. This is a date and it is the dating process. Treat it as such.
Really get to know the person first, get to know them when they are happy, excited, frustrated, annoyed, tired, hungry etc.
Do you still like them when they are experiencing these feelings?
Do you feel threatened or unsafe?
Before you invite them into your life or into your bedroom give yourself the opportunity to see them in many different settings.
So whether you are dating on-line or through friends, use common sense practices and have fun!
Don't settle – this is not a car lease. It's dating – so date – treat the date like an interview for the love of your life!
Enjoy the process!